Picking Myself Back Up After Stumbling

The past few days were stormy and cold here in Santa Fe. The contrast from just a couple of days ago is very dramatic. We went from basking in seventy degree weather to bundling up with jackets and gloves. It seems like my energy followed the weather.

I am not as calm as I was a couple of days ago. The bliss was supplanted by a duller sort of feeling. Not a bad feeling – just one with less luster. I think there are two issues working on me. The first is that I am trying to decide which camera to purchase. I am working every angle possible on making the decision. I have very specific needs, and a limited budget, so I know that whatever I decide on will be with me for quite a long time. It is just that I spent lots of energy and time on that task when I could be reading, meditating, photographing and so on. I will get that sorted out easily enough.

The other issue dragging me down is some of my experiences on Face Book. My use of Face Book was kind of fun at first. I reconnected with some people from my past, and I liked using the chat function. What became troubling to me is that there seemed to be quite a bit of acrimony on many the postings. I even started getting invidious comments from “friends” of friends. They were not messages that came from a place of reason nor did they promote the greater good. I didn’t even have any ideas as to who these people were that were invading my walking meditation. I just knew that I did not have the ability to shed the negativity. There was only one way for me to regain my bliss. So I pulled the plug on Face Book.

I know too that in the ideal, we all need to take stands where we know that the truth must be told. I am grateful that there are those who are doing so now. It is just that this is neither my venue nor my time to do so. I have been derailed from my current mission, and I need to get back on task. I will continue to reveal my truth through my photographs. That is the way for me, and now I can get back to doing that. I feel that images such as my Spirit Tree Series convey some of the essence that we are all interconnected. I say it in best in my images, but not in a confrontational manner.

Now I know that ideally I should step up and be present in this situation and let my light shine. I firmly believe that one may change the energy of a given situation by manifesting godliness. I just don’t feel like Superman, and I don’t want to take on that task right now when I am on another.

I came to New Mexico for several reasons, but one of the primary reasons is so that I may strengthen my connection to Spirit. Another related reason for my being here is so that as my spiritual connection grows, I will be more attune and in the zone when it comes to my art. Both of the above mentioned issues were hindering these quests.

Gallery Sitting

Today started out rather early. I was awake by five, but was reluctant to let go of the wonderful dreams that were still with me. I don’t recall that much of them now as I sit in the gallery. I do recall that they were of a spiritual nature, and that they were instructional in how to apply the lessons that lead to egoic freedom.

It is being demonstrated to me that there is great truth to the principle that what we feed our mind will affect our greater consciousness. I am denying my habits of playing video games and watching television while I am on this solo quest in New Mexico. In the short time that I have been out here I all ready see and feel the difference. Instead of the normal inputs I am feeding myself visually by taking in the essence of Santa Fe and its surroundings. I feed my mind by reading The Snow Leopard by Peter Matthiessen a book full of wonderful accounts of trekking in the Himalaya, and the author’s interpretation of Buddhist spiritual truths. I feed my soul by practicing my Tai Chi, Hatha Yoga, and with my meditations/prayers. I feed the artist by visiting galleries, and by the act of photographing.

I realize that my vision, mind, artist, physical body and soul are all richer because of the fact that I am consciously working toward clear and established goals of enrichment. All these components of my being are being nurtured so that the composite being is becoming better balanced. It seems to me that the higher goal is for me to fully integrate my composite being – to more fully manifest my true essence – that which was created in God’s image.

So I am sitting here in Gallery Chartreuse. I am filling in as the attendant for the day. I have the door open and through it sunlight and bird songs are pouring in. Hopefully I will have some sunset photography opportunities later in the day when I finish here.

I started my twenty day walking meditation today.

I am house sitting in New Mexico very near Santa Fe. I started the day by setting the intention of making the most of this opportunity to contemplate, actualize and expand my vision.

There really is something special about living in a huge house all alone. I am free of the home owner type of cares, and I only have to take care of two cats and some plants. There is nobody to talk to, nor are there any co-decisions to be made. I prepare what I want to eat, sit where I wish, allow the house to grow dark after sunset without turning on the lights, and I can chant, sing, or be perfectly quiet.

I was gifted with information, by a local, of a very remote and obscure church that is pretty well off of the beaten path. It took awhile to find, and once I was there I had it and its environment completely to my self. My photographs don’t carry the feeling of that place. There is a church, but no town – just a church, a picnic area and a cemetery.

There are aspens there, and they pretty much all have “living” pictographs on there trunks. These were created over the years by carving on the trunks. As the tree matures the figures and words change into something else. The images remind me of the transitory nature of our own lives.

I think that for generations family and friends of the Tapia’s gathered here to worship, and to bury their dead. It is a place that is truly holy ground. I was allowed a sample of that divinity with the strong feeling of Spirit.

Tomorrow I will gallery sit at the gallery where my photographs are hanging. I will start preparing to hang a new show of up to a dozen images. Most of them are of Arcata. It seems backward that I am currently photographing Santa Fe, and showing Arcata. Maybe I will have some images from this trip to hang here for the holidays.

I acknowledge that this is a unique opportunity for me to practice a deeper form of spiritual contemplation.