Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Thoughts On This Meditation's Rewards

My time here at Santa Fe is time that has been well spent. I feel a greater connection to my own being. I think it has been important that I break from my routines, and responsibilities. I have embraced the freedom that this retreat has provided. I don’t feel like I am a changed man, but I am definitely more aware of whom I am. I know that I will get back into the flow at home, and that I will be grateful for that wonderful sanctuary. I will again step back into my relationship with Lisa, and both of us will step back into the state of “our”.

I think that habits of how I live my normal life have become just a bit too engrained. My passions gather dust, and my motivations wane. I think that these retreats that I take from time-to-time, serve as good reminders for me as to whom it is that I am. They allow for me the opportunities to have my life’s values and priorities regain some of their newness. These retreats provide boosts that at least temporarily, rekindle my gusto for life.

I feel that this experience is in subtle and substantial ways that reflect in my photography. I experience on a near daily basis, a deeper and clearer connection with the experience of photographing. My years of technical practice are combining with my vision, and are forming a union. This union becomes its own element. I will paraphrase Minor White by saying that when I am one with the subject that the camera, subject and I become something else. Perhaps we three become one.

I know that when I am in these situations I feel as real as I ever have, and that this connectivity continues into the rest of my non-photographing life. It is as if I have made a pilgrimage to the temple only to discover that I have been in the temple all along. It is just that my eyes have been opened, and now I realize that the temple is everywhere.